Becoming a mother has been quite a journey! Talking to other mums encouraged me to follow my own instincts. I remember another mum told me that baby books were only any good if every baby had their own version.
My little girl would cry and scream constantly until my husband suggested to breastfeed her to sleep and he would hold her – silence, sweet sleep angel held by her daddy. Finally something worked. So we continued.
I was also very ill with an infected c-section scar by now, so the health visitor said don’t worry the odd bottle won’t hurt and of dummies are good. By the time I was better my milk was dropping, so I rang NCT and LLL. The best thing was to nurse lots, stop a bottle every 2 days, resist the dummy and breastfeed as often as possible. There was no magic cure, no luck. It was hard but it worked, she was happy to feed as much as possible, nearly all the time.
When she was 5 weeks old I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and my dreams were in tatters. My GP prescribed anti-depressants and said I would have to stop breastfeeding. I refused so he found ones that were safe to take while breastfeeding. I feel like a totally different person to my pre baby years. I am definitely not the mother I dreamed off when pregnant. But I am her mummy. Every mother, every baby and every birth are different, I have always said that. All we can do is share and hope there is something there that will help someone. We are all different.